[RA's Spot]
Doing The Blog Thing! Oh Yeah!HA, HA, Funny?
2007-05-02
Here are a couple of jokes and funny pictures for you laugh-a-holics out there... may offend some, but oh, well you can't make everyone happy!
Can You Read This | Birds & Bees Twist | Crude Sex Jokes (offensive)
Funny Pictures
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can (http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_509.htm)
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a Chat Room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy to a stiffy and then your Mom agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said, "You've Got Male."
Q. What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
A. Popeye almost killed him!
Q. How can you tell a head nurse?
A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
Q. What do you call three lesbians in bed together?
A. Ménage é twat.
Q. What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag?
A. Speed bumps.
Q. What is the lightest thing in the world?
A. A penis...even a thought can raise it.
Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas?
A. Erection Sets.
Q. Where do fags park?
A. In the rear.
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
Q. What does a female snail say during sex?
A. Faster, faster, faster!
Q. What is the noisiest thing in the world?
A. Two skeletons screwing on a tin roof.
Q. What's red and blue with a long string?
A. A smurfette with her period.
Q. What do you call an adolescent rabbit?
A. A pubic hair.
Q. Define "Egghead:"
A. What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
Q. How can you tell if you have acne?
A. If the blind can read your face.
Q. Did you know they just discovered a new use for sheep in New Zealand?
A. Wool!
Q. What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?
A. They just kinda lay there.
Q. What did the woman say to her swimming instructor?
A. "Will I really drown if you take your finger out?"
Q. Why did the lumber truck stop?
A. To let the lumber jack off.
Q. Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable?
A. She wanted to mount the horse her way.
Q. Hey, what's sticky, white and falls from the sky?
A. The cumming of the Lord
Q. How did the tugboat get AIDS?
A. It was rear-ended by a ferry.
Q. How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q. What's the difference between a bandleader and a gynecologist?
A. A bandleader fucks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers.
Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A. Ate something.
Q. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About three inches.
Q. What do you do in case of fallout?
A. Put it back in and take shorter strokes!
Q. Why do women have two holes so close together?
A. In case you miss.
Q. When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie
Barnabus (2007-05-02)
hehe love it, will use in an e-mail tonight!!!
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